On the path of true fulfillment we discover who we are. Our identity is shaped by the choices we make and the path we choose to pursue.
In the divine incarnation, God became Man in the person of Jesus Christ. God willed to walk amongst us as our humble Lord, teaching us to love and serve God and one another. Jesus is still amongst us through the power of the Holy Spirit, extending His hand to each of us, guiding us to discover the path of true fulfillment.
It was almost two decades ago that I began to search for Jesus. As I prayed, I heard God’s voice speaking two words in my heart, over and over again, and those two words were ‘Trust Me’. It was not an order just a gentle urging to trust in His divine love and power.
Like many people on earth I had a ‘trust issue’. With a history of childhood abuse, I had learned to trust no one except myself. This issue impaired my ability to form meaningful relationships, but Jesus was determined to help me to heal and to grow and this process of transformation began with God asking me to ‘Trust’ in Him.
At that time I began to study the Scriptures, I reflected continuously on these words:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6
For all my life I depended on ‘my own understanding’. I tended to trust ‘my gut’ and I did not ask God’s opinion and that was at the root of my downfall.
I was a very ‘high control person’ but I realized around the age of forty that trusting in me was not resulting in me feeling happy or fulfilled. I was anxious, searching for meaning, and I realized that the future I wanted required personal change, along with faith and trust in God.
I believe that Trusting Jesus with our life is what God desires the most. He watches us struggle and He waits for us to open our hearts to Him so that He can begin to work. When I began to trust Jesus I began to stop feeling anxious. I knew Jesus was with me and that if I surrendered my life to Him He would teach me His will and help me to become the woman He wanted me to be.
I thought I wanted to be a business executive so Jesus helped me to explore this identity by introducing me to some powerful women leading major corporations. I recall at one woman’s ‘power lunch’ being introduced to a woman that described how she was influencing not just a company but an entire industry and it sounded exciting except that this woman acknowledged that the sacrifices she had to make were extreme and they had a profound impact on her family. She was always ‘on the road’ travelling to meet partners and ultimately her focus on work resulted in divorce. I realized listening to her speak that I was deluded into thinking I wanted to be an executive. All I really wanted was to be happy.
I feel Satan tried to deceive me by making me aspire to roles in senior management. I became a senior manager and I earned a high income but I was still not fulfilled and I now know why. I wasn’t fulfilled because the identity that would ultimately make me feel truly alive was not being a ‘business executive’ it was being a disciple of Jesus.
I feel Jesus took me by the hand and helped me to lean on Him to trust Him and to realize that true fulfillment is only found in loving and being loved. A quest for power and money did not lead to true fulfillment but a quest to live in a relationship of divine love and to give that love in many different charitable works did lead to a profound sense of peace and joy.
Many important milestones marked my spiritual process of discovery and transformation. The first milestone was realizing Jesus wanted me to Trust Him. I realized God wanted to help me to heal and to find meaning and to realize the many sources of temptation that were getting in the way of my healing and growth.
I returned to Church and I confessed my sins and began to re-experience the sacredness of the Mass. I realized as I studied the Scriptures that Jesus was in the Sacrament of the Eucharist and that this divine food from heaven would heal my heart and my life.
Jesus said, “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me.” John 6: 54-57
I began to study God’s Word like it was a roadmap and indeed I believe it is. Every disciple of Jesus, is a Soldier in Christ, that must understand the instructions of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
“You are my friends if you do what I command.” John 15:14
I struggled with the instruction to forgive those who hurt me. Do we forgive people who do not will to say ‘I am sorry’?
These words haunted me:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15
I realized after years of struggling and grieving about injustice that God wanted to set me free and that FORGIVENESS WAS FREEDOM.
One of the most important things I have done over the course of the last decade in addition to going back to Mass was taking a spiritual walk every day to Calvary. I took this walk in an experiential way. I imagined I was there standing next to the Virgin Mary watching Jesus be tortured for my sins. I watched as He was nailed to the Cross and I cried as He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34
I began to ask myself a question that had only one simple answer. I asked myself ‘If I had hurt someone and had been unwilling/unable to say I’m sorry’ what would I want?
I realized I would want prayer and mercy. So with that in mind I decided to pray for and forgive everyone who had ever injured me. That decision healed my heart and relieved me from a burden for justice and vengeance and retribution. The decision to forgive freed me from living in the past and allowed me to start creating a new future holding the divine hand of Our Lord Jesus.
Having taken a daily walk to Calvary for over a decade now I realize that temptation disappears when we fall in love.
I challenge all Christians to stop and remember the Passion of Christ every day, for I know that this experience will enable you to drive the devil out of your life as you fall more and more deeply in love with Our Crucified Lord Jesus Christ.
Our world is fragile. We have a virus that is spreading all over the world. People are afraid. Lives have been lost and we need God’s grace to stop this from becoming a pandemic.
Remember the promise of God:
“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14
With faith comes responsibility. We must live God’s love if we are truly His. We must believe in Him. We must trust in Him. We must be ready to make sacrifices for Him. We must learn His Word and live His Word. We must repent and we must forgive and we must pray for the salvation of all souls.
“But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” 1 John 2: 5-6
Take a walk with me to Calvary every day and know that this sacred time remembering the Passion of Christ will change your life as it changes your heart.
I stop every day at the Time Jesus died for us, 3pm, but if 3pm locally does not work for you pick another time zone and make this time a sacred time where you remember how much Jesus loves you and me and every human being on earth. At this time thank Jesus for dying for us and ask Him to send His Holy Spirit to save us all.
More info on A Peaceful Revolution in the Name of Jesus Christ here.