I met a precious little boy a few years ago while I was helping a Catholic school with religious formation. I went into the classroom to help the children understand how much Jesus loves them and how much He wanted to feed His little lambs with His Body and Blood through the Eucharist. After class I gave out little chocolate treats and an invitation to meet Jesus in Holy Communion at Mass on Sunday and one little boy in grade 4 told me he had not yet celebrated his First Communion. So I offered to help him to prepare for his First Eucharist and God allowed me to help him with some one-on-one lessons. Before celebrating His First Eucharist he celebrated his First Reconciliation. When he finished his first confession his little face was beaming with light and with a smile ear to ear he told his mom he loved her so much, but that he loved Jesus just a little bit more! He was so relieved when his mother smiled back at him and said “that’s ok”. What a wonderful moment to see how much this precious child loved God; he loved Jesus more than anything and anyone and that’s the kind of love Jesus wants!

In the Scripture there is a passage where Jesus explains discipleship:

“If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison–your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters–yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26-27

Do not misunderstand, the message of Jesus is to love God and our neighbours, in fact Jesus even teaches us to love our enemies. Remember Jesus said, “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” 1 John 4:20

So do not be confused.  Jesus is not instructing you to hate, but moreover He is calling you to be ready as His disciple to put Him above everyone and everything else and to be ready to persevere in difficult situations as you carry your cross in life.

There have been times in my life as a mother when I am sure my children thought “Mom I hate you!” I was not giving them the privileges that they wanted because I loved them. There have been times when I tried to explain to my children that if they put me in a situation where I had to choose between honouring God’s commandments or pleasing them, I would always choose God first.  You can probably imagine how they reacted!  They didn’t get it! I tried and tried though to explain that in time I hoped they would understand that I could not be a good mother if I did not put pleasing Jesus first.

Remember the first commandment Jesus gives us is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these” Mark 12:31

Sometimes our neighbours and our families will put us in situations where we have to choose between pleasing them and pleasing God. In those situations when we choose God over pleasing a friend or family member it may appear that we hate them but that’s living up to God’s commandment to always, always put Him first.

One of the first things Jesus taught me was “love is a choice”. Years ago I was at a troubled time in my life and I was seeking God. And then a miracle happened when I heard the voice of God speaking in my heart. God asked me, “What is love?” I thought I knew what love was so I answered “love is a feeling.” To this God answered “Wrong” in a strong, gentle voice. Feeling uncomfortable I asked “Well what is it then?” and God answered “Love is a choice.”

Loving God above all things and all people is the first thing we must do. It was grace that allowed a little boy of nine years old to declare that he loved Jesus the most. I have had some difficult moments with my family where I have stood firm on matters of principle taking God’s side and allowing them to feel disappointed.

Honouring the commandments of God everyday in everyway is not simple but it’s possible if we are truly committed to God. Making decisions that deny a relationship with someone we love in order to dedicate time to God may strain a relationship if our loved one does not understand our motivations and our commitment to love God first above everything and everyone else.

Love is a choice! We prove our love for God and one another through every choice we make. There will be contentious situations where we may feel pulled in different directions. Let us ask Jesus who loves us so much to help us to discern His will in those times and to exercise good judgment that proves that indeed we are His disciples and that we will strive through His grace to put His holy will first above everything and everyone else that may compete with it.