I figure I spent 40 years in the wilderness, enamored with the things of the world and then Jesus came to find His lost sheep. I turned 40 and I realized I did not feel complete. I had many material things including a high paying job, but I felt an emptiness inside me. I eventually realized that the empty place I felt inside could only be filled by God Himself.
Many things happened to motivate a deep spiritual conversion and the beginning of the process was God calling me. I heard Him say to my heart “Follow me”. At the time, however, I did not own a Bible and I did not know that these were the words that Jesus said to His apostles when He summoned them to commence a journey with Him into the unknown. I knew that I should begin reading the Bible so I went to the store one day and came home with the King James translation of the Bible and I panicked thinking “oh la, la” this Bible reads like Shakespeare. So I enrolled in a “Learn the Bible” course offered by a generous group of Christians who were dedicating every Saturday morning to teaching the Bible. I was thrilled to learn there were other translations of the Bible that were in plain English. So I bought a new Bible in what I felt was a simpler translation.
Then I bought a little card that instructed you on how to read the whole Bible in 365 days. Like an eager student I began reading even faster than the card recommended checking off all the little boxes and then a few weeks into the process I heard God say to my heart “Are you trying to conquer me? It is better if you let me conquer you.”… I realized that Holy Scripture needed to be carefully savored not devoured; I also realized that Jesus was in the process of conquering me and that I would never be the same again.
Jesus taught me compassion by bringing me to many different places where I volunteered. There I met distressed people, mentally ill people, physically ill people, young people living on the streets. Then God flew me half way around the world and introduced me to a large humanitarian organization fighting the war on poverty and disease. I learned many new things and my little world that was originally focused on me and my family became bigger. I met God’s global family and I realized I needed to be praying and helping a larger family; God’s family would be my family!
The summit of my spiritual journey occurred at the foot of the Cross. Jesus showed me His Passion and I realized how much Our Lord suffered to pay the price of our sins. I began reading the Diary of St. Faustina and I learned how Jesus wanted us to pray at 3 o’clock, the time He died for us.
Jesus said, “At three o’clock, implore My mercy, especially for sinners; and, if only for a brief moment, immerse yourself in My Passion, particularly in My abandonment at the moment of agony. This is the hour of great mercy for the whole world. I will allow you to enter into My mortal sorrow. In this hour, I will refuse nothing to the soul that makes a request of me in virtue of My Passion…immerse yourself in prayer there where you happen to be, if only for a very brief instant.” (Words of Jesus, Diary of St. Faustina 1320, 1572)
So I began doing what Our Lord asked and every day my love for Him grows as I contemplate His Passion while I pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy at 3 o’clock. I see Jesus dying on the Cross for me and I want to give Him every thing, every beat of my heart. I encourage you to stop every day at 3pm to do what Jesus asked…immerse yourself in His Passion…see how much He loves you and I think you will find that the Passion of Our Lord Jesus will transfigure you…it will change you deeply!
I remember one day as a little girl celebrating a Mass at school. We were singing the hymn “Here I am Lord”. I remember saying to myself “sing really loud and maybe God will hear you.” I now know that God is always listening and today I can say to You Holy Lord, “Here I am sweet Jesus. I come to do Your will. I want so much to please You. Help me to make You smile as I serve You through our family here on earth.”