Jesus tells us “For many are called, but few are chosen.” Matthew 22:14

There was a time when I thought it was my job to come up with a plan for my life. I had no idea that God had a plan for me. I always believed in God but I thought He was up in heaven watching and occasionally intervening, but I did not realize that Jesus was actually here on earth living in His people, loving and serving, fulfilling His mission to save souls.

The turning point in my life occurred when I realized God had a plan and I wasn’t paying attention. It was a wake-up call and it occurred in a miraculous way. In fact there were multiple miracles all designed to bring me to this day where hopefully my story can be of some help to you.

My spiritual conversion began with a conversation with God where God challenged me to answer a question. I heard the voice of God speaking in my heart and He asked me “What is love?” I thought I knew what love was, so I answered: “I know what love is God. Love is a feeling!” To this the gentle voice within me said, “Wrong.” So I asked, “What is it then?” And Jesus said, “Love is a choice.”

This was the turning point in my life and the beginning of a spiritual journey where I would begin to live in spiritual awareness. If you’re not sure what I mean by “spiritual awareness” I would contrast this to “sensual awareness”. As people endowed with senses to feel, hear, see, taste, smell we can be easily tempted to pursue the wrong thing. “Sensual awareness” is not something we need to work hard to accomplish. Our senses all have loud voices, but “spiritual awareness” means we have to begin listening to the quiet, gentle voice of God speaking within our souls and within our consciences that moves us to satisfy God living within us.

One of the first places God brought me after my conversion was to a distress center. I was trained to be a telephone distress center counselor and to listen to the many needs of people in distress. I was given links to many resources to try to help people connect with community support networks. I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to listen to the candid stories of pain of my suffering neighbours.

Then God brought me to meet young people living on the streets. I remember seeing young people begging for cash on street corners wondering why didn’t they get a job and then God reached out His invisible hand to help me find the answer. I met young people addicted to drugs, without the support of family and friends, without money, education and healthcare and I learned to stop judging that which I didn’t understand.

I think sometimes the reason we don’t hear God calling is because we think we have things all figured out. If we already know the answer, we’re not that open to considering the question. I was privileged to hear God’s voice and I know I am not worthy of the grace that I was given. But I believe that God gave me this grace so I could share it with anyone who is willing to listen.

We will not hear God calling until we humble ourselves to consider that we need God. Unfortunately for too many of us that means we need something to happen to humble us to stop feeling self-sufficient. It’s our arrogance that gets in the way of us humbling ourselves to realize that we need God to teach us, to guide us, to fill us with His Spirit of love. This is what God calls being “poor in spirit”. The “poor in spirit” acknowledge their need for God to help them to accomplish all things. Without God we are impotent, but with God all things are possible.

If you are not sure you hear God calling, I urge you to find some quiet time to be with Him. If you haven’t been to Church in awhile, come back to Him. Receive Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. Consider the choices you are making and ask yourself are you living in “sensual awareness” or in “spiritual awareness”.

God has a plan for you: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

One day on the distress center hotline, someone said to me “Thank you. I will never forget you!” I think that was God speaking through a neighbour who needed to be loved.

Today I want to say to you Lord: “I will never forget you my Jesus! You are always on my mind. Lead me and guide me to serve wherever you desire. You are my heart’s desire. I’m sorry it took me so long to hear You calling. I hear You now Lord. Speak for Your servant is finally listening. Do with me what You will. I love You! You are my God and I want to do Your holy will  Thank You for loving us all so much!”