Do you have a problem with trust? Do you trust Jesus?
Have you ever had a boss that said to you “Just trust me; follow my instructions and you will be successful.” Honestly, I never have! I am one of those people who needs to understand the goal and I need latitude to find the best path to get there. Otherwise I feel can’t be creative and if I am not given the opportunity to be creative, I am bored. My bosses usually said, “This is the goal. How you get there is up to you.” I thrived in that kind of environment because it offered me opportunities to innovate. However I will confess to you that for most of my life I also had an issue in that I was very skeptical and nontrusting.
As a young adolescent in high school I remember learning the Pythagorean theorem in math class. I had this amazing math teacher who looked at my puzzled, disbelieving eyes and said “I’ll prove it to you!” So she developed the mathematical formula for me from first principles the way the scientist did. I loved that. Proof! In fact I wound up loving geometry and as I learned many more theorems my teacher saw me doing extra work trying to prove each theorem from first principles the way she did. One day she said to me “you don’t have to prove each one, you can just believe that these theorems are true” and I said, “Miss I need to see for myself; I have to prove them for myself!”
Ok, you may be wondering what does this have to do with trusting Jesus. Well in my case I admit it, I trusted no one (at least not completely). I liked figuring things out on my own and God allowed me to get into my fair share of problems because I relied on me, myself and I to figure things out. Then God had compassion on me. I was looking for Him and He had been waiting many years for me. Then He began saying to my heart “Trust me.” If I told you how many times and for the extended period of time Jesus continued to say “Trust me”, you would conclude I was a slow learner. But the problem was I never really trusted anyone. I imagined God to be up in the sky watching us from afar, but suddenly Jesus seemed very near, very close and very determined to convince me to trust Him.
After awhile I told God I didn’t really understand what He was asking of me. I wanted to give Him what He wanted but I confessed to Him I wasn’t sure I knew how to trust Him. So I asked Him to teach me and so He did. The lessons began with another life changing question, “What is love?” Jesus asked me. This voice, which I thought was God, had me paralyzed but not with fear because it was so kind, gentle and strong. I answered “Love is a feeling.” God said “Wrong.” So I asked “What is it then?” He said “Love is a choice.” I realized in that moment that I would have to reconsider all my choices and this process of self-examination would turn my life upside down.
The reason I created this page is because God has given me a grace that I know cannot be kept selfishly just for me; this grace must be shared. And if you are reading this page, it’s probably not by accident. I remember asking Jesus another question, “Who destroys Satan? Is it you or is it the Virgin Mary?” I was puzzled why I kept seeing statues of the Virgin Mary stepping on a snake (the symbol of evil). God answered this question precisely with these words. “Woman it is I that destroys Satan. I am the seed. Look it up.” Needless to say I was puzzled. Jesus is a seed? I knew we called Jesus the Good Shepherd, the Messiah, Saviour, but I never heard of Jesus as the seed.
This happened many years ago and at the time I had just recently purchased a Bible. “Look it up where?” I asked. “Genesis” God replied. I knew there was a book in the Bible called Genesis so again I queried: “The Bible Genesis?” “Truly” Jesus said. So I ran to get my Bible and Jesus brought me immediately to Genesis 3:15 that described a conversation that occurred following the fall of Adam and Eve between God and Satan. God told Satan “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, And between your seed and her seed; He shall bruise you on the head, And you shall bruise him on the heel.” Genesis 3:15 When I read this Jesus allowed me to understand that He was the seed of the woman Mary and that Jesus would destroy evil by crushing Satan’s head. I had never heard that expression before (seed of the woman). Nor had I ever read the Book of Genesis. So why was God going through all this trouble to help me to understand? Well honestly at first I thought, I needed a psychologist, because I was hearing a voice. But this voice was teaching me important things I didn’t know that were documented in the Bible. Mental illness does not teach you things! I realized God was speaking to me and that day He gave me proof!
Ultimately I have concluded that God chose to teach a foolish skeptical woman (that’s me) about love and trust so that I could become His and then He would use me to tell others what I learned. Learning that “love is a choice” caused me to examine my life and realize that I needed to choose a new path, a path where I could hold my Saviour’s hand and learn from Him and create with Him.
Like some of my best bosses, Jesus showed me the goal “Love!” but He didn’t insist on one particular path. I still had free will to choose how to express my love. God’s will allowed me to try lots of different volunteer activities, until I found my little niche, working with little children and helping them to understand all that God taught me so that they can grow up understanding that God has a plan for them and that they need to trust Him and learn from Him for He is love! I also found that I could use my communications skills to write for Him and so I do just that.
I think many of us need to learn to trust Jesus and trusting Him requires investing time with Him and learning from Him. If we are going to follow Jesus we need to understand His ways so that we can try to imitate His kindness, His generosity, His compassion, His humility, His mercy.
This page is my little way of trying to give back the grace God gave to me. I would like to pass it on and help others who are tired and struggling and looking for peace. Jesus wants to comfort you and to help you. Be not afraid of your Saviour Jesus. “If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.” Hebrews 3:15
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3: 5-6