If God were to ask you this question today what would you say? What is love to you?

My spiritual conversion occurred over twenty years ago. I was searching for God but I felt like I could not find Him. Of course I was also searching for Him in some of the wrong places and without a good understanding of His Will or His Way. I wasn’t going to Church and I didn’t even own a Bible. I felt empty and I was searching for meaning and purpose. I was searching for God’s love to fill a sacred place within me that was reserved exclusively and solely for HIM!

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

I remember thinking life is not worth living. I am a bit ashamed to tell you that I questioned whether I even wanted to live, but I decided that if I would try to write about my spiritual journey I would try to be honest with you, even to the point of embarrassment or humiliation. I contemplated briefly the idea of divorce and one day I even thought about suicide and it was on that very day when I was contemplating terrible things that I heard a voice in my heart say, “Follow me”. I had never read the Bible and I had no idea that the words “Follow me” were the words that Jesus spoke when He called His disciples to begin an important life changing journey with Him. I knew however that the voice that was saying, “Follow me” was Jesus.

The Scriptures say that Jesus is the Good Shepherd and Jesus says “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27 I knew it was Jesus speaking to me and I remember thinking “Oh boy, Jesus is speaking to me and I am in trouble now!” So I began to query Jesus. “Where are we going?” Again Jesus said, “follow me”. Then I queried Jesus again, “I am not in the right place?” and He said “Truly you are not.” So I said, “Ok, I will follow you” not really knowing what I was committing to or what God even wanted from me.

I was a lost sheep and the Good Shepherd, Jesus, knew I needed Him and He came to find me. Not long passed before Jesus asked me another important question. He said, “What is love?” I paused only briefly because I figured I knew what love was. I answered, “Love is a feeling.” To this Jesus replied “wrong”. So I wondered, “what is it then?” And Jesus replied “Love is a choice” in a gentle, reassuring voice. At that point the Holy Spirit enlightened me to understand that I would need to reconsider carefully all of my choices to see if what I was committing to in my life was love.

After that I bought my first Bible and Jesus continued to speak two words to my heart over and over again; these two important words were “Trust Me!” I realized how much God wanted to draw me close into the safety and security of His Heart. He slowly and carefully began to show me that love was selfless Not selfish and that the choice called love would not always be easy or even feel natural.

I was struggling with grief caused by trauma, violence and injustice and I was angry and bitter. I had been wronged but perhaps the greatest wrong of all was to have to live in a state of bitterness because the people who had wronged me would not say the healing words, “I am sorry”.

So without the words “I am sorry” I felt I was condemned to live in a state of perpetual grief. I then went on a spiritual pilgrimage to Lourdes, Frances where I walked for the first time in my life the Way of the Cross. There were statues of Our Lord’s journey to Calvary that were bigger than life size. I felt as though I had journeyed back 2,000 years and I was walking with Jesus to the place of His crucifixion. I cried the whole way and I began to feel a deep personal connection with God that I had not yet experienced. If Jesus would suffer so much for me, then I decided I would have to try harder to forgive the people that had hurt me.

As I began to study the Scriptures these words were seared into my heart, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34

Jesus was brutally scourged and tortured and then He lied down on His Cross to be nailed to it and He prayed for us, for our salvation to His Father, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34

I realized that I would have to pray for those who had hurt me!

I wanted to embrace the teachings of Jesus: “But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you, and persecute you; that you may be children of your Father in heaven…” Matthew 5:44-45

So many miraculous things have happened in the last twenty years and I know that God is with me. And yet I still sometimes struggle with some anger and bitterness associated with the injustices I have faced along the way, but when I do struggle I begin to meditate on the Passion of Christ and I feel elevated beyond this cycle of grief to see the eternal horizon where we are all called to ultimately be, a place of eternal peace and eternal joy.

I decided to leave the business world so that I could commit to being an evangelist. I decided that I would try to serve God by proclaiming the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I am now a Christian advocate that is encouraging all believers in Christ to come daily on a little spiritual journey to the foot of the Cross of Jesus, if but for a few moments. The Passion of Christ will melt the hardest hearts and it will open our minds and our hearts to embracing the mercy of God.

How privileged I feel to know the truth that Jesus is Our Saviour, Our Lord and Our God who came into the world to help us to embrace the choice called love, even when it’s difficult.

That choice called love manifests itself in charity, in forgiveness, in patient endurance, in prayer for all of God’s people, especially those that are most in need of His loving forgiveness and conversion.

I know now that love is a choice that we must make even in the most difficult circumstance, when we might feel called to take vengeance. Violence is never the answer! Let us pray for those that feel that God is calling them to convert people at the point of a knife. Spiritual conversion cannot be forced upon anyone. Conversion always occurs through the power of God’s Holy Spirit who fills our hearts with love and our minds with righteous plans to honour God.

“This is what the LORD says: Be fair-minded and just. Do what is right! Help those who have been robbed; rescue them from their oppressors. Quit your evil deeds! Do not mistreat foreigners, orphans, and widows. Stop murdering the innocent!” Jeremiah 22:3

“And be you kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

I encourage you to commit as a Christian to helping Our Lord Jesus convert souls who do not yet know Him and love Him, for in this way you can be a peace maker.

“Blessed the peace-makers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9

I encourage you to join The Mercy Movement that prays for all souls, especially those most in need of God’s mercy everyday at the time Jesus died for us, 3pm (in our local time zones) as we contemplate the Passion of Christ and allow the infinite love of Jesus Christ to change us and help us to embrace love, the choice that honours God! Learn more, by visiting https://passionofchrist.ca/the-hour-of-mercy/