“I love how you love me”

That was the name of the song I walked down the aisle to on my wedding day, in a Catholic Church, over 30 years ago.  I knew I didn’t want to walk down the aisle to the traditional wedding march; I heard an instrumental version of this song and I was so drawn to it that we used the instrumental version on my big day.  The words of the song speak of a romantic love that fulfills a Bride that is in love with her Bridegroom.

I learned something really important at Church in a homily last year and I want to share it with you today.  The Priest was explaining an important conversation between St. Peter and Jesus.  Jesus asks Peter three times “Do you love me?”…What’s fascinating about this conversation is that to really understand what’s happening between Peter and Jesus we need to go back to the Greek translation of the Bible.  First let’s look at our English translation. I’ll put some important Greek words in parenthesis and then I’ll explain what I learned.

“When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”  (In the greek translation Jesus was using the word “agape” for love )

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”  (In the greek translation Peter was the word “phileo” for love.)

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” (Once again in the greek translation of this text Jesus was using the word “agape” for love)

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”  (Peter is again using the greek word “phileo” for love.)

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” (This time Jesus is using the word “phileo” for love)

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” (Peter continues to use the greek word for love: phileo)

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”  John 21: 15-19

Ok so what’s going here, is VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU AND ME!

First we need to understand that agape is an unconditional, self-sacrificing love, the love of Christ.  Phileo is the love that exists between friends but it is not of the same depth as agape.

So here we see Jesus is asking for agape (an unconditional love) and Peter is responding with “phileo” (friendship).  The third time Jesus asks, however, Jesus asks whether he can give him “phileo” love and Peter is sad…Why?  Because Peter wants to give Jesus more.  Jesus then confirms that Peter will be able to give Him agape because Peter will die for Jesus.

Wow!  I left Church that Sunday feeling like the Priest had given me a pearl and I will now hold that pearl in my heart as a treasure.

Now I am ready to say something to Jesus in front of the whole world:

“Holy Lord I love how You love me!

I love how You teach me!

I love how You help me, even when I resist you!

I love how Your love renews the world!

I want to give You everything You deserve!

Please let my love for You, be agape!”

Thank you to the Priest who taught me this.