My spiritual journey began with a deep longing for God over fifteen years ago. I was searching for meaning, for a purpose for my life. I was feeling a deep void, a sense that I had a hole in my heart. It was at this low point that God’s grace began to work on me.

One day as I was getting up from bed in the morning I felt as though God said to me: “woman you can’t do anything without Me.” I was stunned! I truly believed I could accomplish my goals on my own…after all I was a strong, independent woman…or was I?

The truth is I was both ignorant and arrogant. I was ignorant in not understanding that God wanted a relationship with me here on earth where He could guide me and help me to pursue His holy will. I figured I would meet Jesus only after I died…I’m sorry. I admit it. I was lost!

I was arrogant in feeling extremely confident in my self and in my own abilities. The person I trusted the most was ‘Me’ and I was ‘self-centered’ and focused on proving myself and advancing my career and making lots of money.

The turning point occurred at the age of forty. I figured at forty years of age I should feel ‘complete’, except nothing could be further from the truth. Something big was missing. I wasn’t happy and ultimately I realized the big missing was Jesus. Suddenly the ‘strong and independent’ woman felt weak and vulnerable. So I began seeking God and truth and God entered my life as I began to pray.

Every time I prayed I heard the voice of Jesus in my heart saying ‘Trust Me.’; it wasn’t an order, just a quiet gentle summons to surrender to His endless love. I began to study the Scriptures and I learned the importance of trust to God.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

God began to teach me about the importance of humility and letting go of all the things I believed were true, but actually weren’t. For example, I just assumed I was on the right track. My bosses at work told me I had executive potential and that I should keep working towards the next promotion. So I did. I focused so much of my time trying to prove myself as a career woman. I got promoted. I made more and more money and yet I still wasn’t fulfilled.

I wasn’t fulfilled because money doesn’t satisfy the deep desires of the heart.

“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Luke 16:13

I spent too much time chasing ‘career success’. My life changed when I started seeking God and learning what ‘success was in His eyes’.

God wants to be desired. He will not intrude upon our lives.  If we are determined to live without Him, God will let us struggle on our own.

“But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 4:29

“Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the LORD is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed.” 1 Samuel 2:3

Early on in my journey God asked me a question that would ultimately change my life. God spoke quietly to my heart and asked me ‘What is love?’ I answered ‘Love is a feeling’, but God in His wisdom said ‘wrong’. And so I asked, ‘well what is then?’ And God said “Love is a choice.”

How many of us get lost in the feeling?

Infatuation is confusing lust with love. But true love is always evident in the sacrifices we make. How many sacrifices does a good parent make for his/her child?

I realized that God was telling me that love must be proven and it is proven by our choices.

A choice to forgive is a choice called love. A choice to be charitable and generous is a choice called love. A choice to pray for one another is a choice called love.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit I entered into a new relationship with Jesus defined by trust and a realization that I was a weak, sinful person that needed God’s grace and forgiveness.

Arrogance and pride can focus us on our own selfish desires, but humility empties us of our ‘self-centeredness’ so we can focus on God’s holy will.

I believe that to stand humbly before God is to stand naked and vulnerable before Him acknowledging our sinfulness and need for His forgiveness and grace. We must acknowledge God’s greatness and our nothingness as we bow down to Him for absolution and blessing. If the arrogant person is ‘full of self’ then the humble person is ‘selfless’ and ‘full of God’…and that’s who Jesus is…selfless and One with God.

Many of us embody various degrees of brokenness. We have been hurt in failed relationships and our trust in others is affected. Without trust it is impossible to build new relationships. We must believe that our trust won’t be betrayed.

THIS IS THE TRUTH: JESUS WILL NEVER BETRAY YOU!

Jesus proved His love to us: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!” Romans 5:8-9

Jesus is our Humble Saviour who surrendered His Will to the Will of God, The Father, by dying for us. There is no greater love than the love of Jesus Christ!

So let us turn to Jesus with complete trust in His love and let us reflect carefully on the choices we are making. Are those choices love? Or are those choices lust?

One of life’s great mysteries is that true happiness occurs not when we cater to our own needs but when we give ourselves to God for His glory. A selfish path is a self-indulgent path that leads to decadence and emptiness, but a selfless path is a life of joyful sacrifice where God is glorified and our hearts are fulfilled.

Jesus said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” Luke 9: 23-24

Jesus presents us with an opportunity. If you want to find true happiness and fulfillment then give your life to Him. Resist Jesus and you will lose the ‘new life’ He wants to offer you.

Love is a choice that always honours and pleases God.

Jesus pleased God the Father by making the most difficult choice of all. He was crucified for our sins. Take a moment every day to remember the Passion of Jesus Christ and you will certainly be humbled by the greatness of God’s love for you and for all souls. I truly believe that contemplating the Passion of Christ is the key to opening up the heart of mankind to understanding the immensity of God’s love. See Jesus with His arms wide open on the Cross and enter into His tender embrace with absolute trust and confidence in His eternal love for you.

Join Christians all over the world that are uniting daily to pray for all souls as we remember the Passion of Christ. We stop daily @ 3pm (the Time Jesus died for us, each of us in our local time zones) to thank Jesus for dying for us and to pray for Jesus to send His Holy Spirit upon our broken, sinful, suffering world to heal us and to draw us into His holy heart.

What can the Body of Christ united in prayer and in remembrance of the Passion of Christ accomplish?

“Everything is possible for one who believes.” Words of Jesus, Mark 9:23

“Those who know your name trust in you,
    for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10

Learn more about the prayer movement, The Mercy Movement here.